"Seeking affirmation isn't new. It's just that now we have so many infantile ways to do it."
(Daly, Ian. "Virtual Popularity Isn't Cool--It's Pathetic." DETAILS May 2008: 92-94)
My cut-off date for MySpace (as well as Facebook and any other online "friendworking" site) is April 2, 2011. When I turn 25, it's over. I better have the e-mail addresses and contact information to all of my actual friends by then. And for all of my e-friends, who cares anyways. I only added you to up my friend count and to get more Happy Birthday wishes. And once my accounts have been deleted, so have your lives, in my eyes. Sorry, but the truth hurts.
Why am I not getting rid of it now? Well, because I'm still holding on to my youth for dear life, like most normal human beings. I'm holding on to the glorious college days where I was on top of the world and I always had new pictures to post of how much fun I was having. Yes, my accounts are already getting sad. With new pictures only once-a-month (if that) rather than the once-a-week turnover they used to have. Oh, the fun inside jokes there were! I still have the occasional random photo with some sly remark at the bottom that only makes sense to the poster and me. And sometimes just the poster--I'm a little thickheaded and forgetful, so inside jokes can easily be lost on me if they aren't spelled out.
"I'm putting this picture of a cute dog with a word bubble that says 'Can I havez some urz ice creem?' because yesterday you asked to have some of my ice cream and I accidentally said 'nah, dawg' and we laughed about how un-gangster I am. See you tonight for Club LOLZR's Knife Fight Dance Knight."
There is also the bulletins. The new pics alerts, the crazy one-liner epiphanies that are usually about a TV show, the upcoming events, the surveys, and the obligatory spam bulletins. I'll be honest, I am a survey whore! How can I pass up a chance to answer questions about such an easy subject: myself? I LOVE talking about myself and surveys give me that chance. I'm not saying they aren't shameless, because they are; I'm shamelessly advertising myself to my friends, e-friends, and lurkers. I want them all to know things about me. I want them all to think about me. But once I turn 25, I'll have to find a different way to remind everyone I exist and to let them know that I'm drinking V8 Fusion and the last text I got said "Haha, totally." I'll have to find a different way to make Your Mom jokes and let everyone know that I'm still single. It's a scary thought, but I'm sure I'll figure out a way.
So, since I've only got 3 years left for MySpacing, I better go add some friends, post a bulletin about my sweet new mirror shots, and change my profile song.